Showing posts with label Sub-Mariner. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Sub-Mariner. Show all posts

Friday, May 9, 2014

Captain Marvel Masterworks Vol.1 review

There are some characters that just seem to haunt the fringes of your interest in comics until you finally decide to explore them in depth. While I’m not too keen on DC/Fawcett’s big red cheese, and I don’t find MF Enterprise’s “SPLIT!” version to be the campy masterpiece some praise it as, I’ve always seen Marvel’s ‘Space-Born Super-Hero” as the Captain Marvel, even though, as everyone points out, Marvel created him to secure copyright to the name. Granted, my fondness could stem from my first continuous exposure to the character being Jim Starlin’s acclaimed run and the good captain playing big roles in ‘important’ stories like the RoyThomasBrainFart Kree-Skrull War, or maybe it’s because, courtesy of a flea market, I ended up owning his first two appearances in Marvel Superheroes #12-13, as well as issue #4 of his own title where he fights Namor. Now, I fully admit I picked those books up because of the Golden Age reprints and because I go crazy for Gene Colan art and even crazier for Namor, but I always liked them because of the series’ gimmick, even though there were things in those stories that even as a teen I couldn’t suspend my disbelief about.
  Captain Marvel was about Mar-Vell; a member of an alien race called the Kree who came to Earth, took on a secret identity as a scientist and wound up becoming a superhero. On paper, it’s not too different a concept from lots of other alien heroes, going all the way back to Superman himself, and Cap’s costume wasn’t too markedly different from that of other spacemen like Adam Strange except for being in secondary colors.
 
  No, what made Mar-Vell unique was why he acted as a superhero. It wasn’t that he was raised by humans, or was an intergalactic policeman who decided to study our methods, or who fought crime since he was stuck here and believed evil should be eradicated no matter where it was, or because he was struck by the beauty of human life. Nothing like that. Mar-Vell was a soldier on a reconnaissance mission whose entire goal was to spy on us, and if need be, blow us all to kingdom come if we ever came anywhere close to developing weapons that could challenge the Kree empire.
 He only came off as a hero because his asshole superior officer, Colonel Yon Rogg, wanted to bang his girlfriend Una, so Yon-Rogg kept trying to force Mar-Vell into situations where he would be killed or forced to abort his mission (an offense punishable by death in Kree law), such as activating big homicidal robots to kill people who Mar-Vell was merely supposed to study, or tricking enemy alien races into attacking him. Mar-Vell would then fight these various menaces (mainly out of self-preservation and because he believed in sticking to the original plans to simply spy on Earth’s people, not kill them) and, to the unknowing populace of Earth, Mar-Vell would appear to be a benevolent superhero defending them.
 This could have been turned into a comedy series where the evil alien always ends up doing good by accident, or Invasion of the Body Snatchers-style horror; where the people of Earth have no idea that their champion is an alien spy. But the thing was, Mar-Vell was torn up inside because of this. He knew that, other than to Una, he was just another grunt to the Kree, while to the people of Earth who he was supposed to view as the enemy, he was appreciated and acclaimed as a hero, and noble soldier that he was, he couldn’t live with betraying trust, since he was a firm believer in showing honor even to his worst enemies. Even worse, he knew that eventually, he was either going to have to destroy us, or Yon-Rogg would find some way to make him look bad in the eyes of the Kree higher-ups and he’d have nowhere to go (if the Kree council didn’t kill him first).
 The final panel of #4, where Mar-Vell speeds off after battling Namor, the true hero of the story, and considers the tragic irony of his situation, always stuck with me for some reason.
 Many years later, I got a hold of the first Marvel Masterworks volume of CM, read up to the fourth issue (which I was already familiar with), and then, due to a bunch of factors, didn’t get a chance to finish reading and sort of forgot about it.
 
 That, however, has been rectified.
 
 And you know what? For a character created just to secure copyright, these stories are pretty damn good!
 
 Oh sure, there are plenty of ludicrous coincidences that even as a kid I found hard to swallow, namely, Mar-Vell conveniently happening across a dead rocket scientist named Walter Lawson who looks exactly like him and who he then impersonates to get access to Cape Canaveral.
 At the same time though, there are also some nicely realistic touches like a hotel clerk who becomes suspicious of Cap being a spy after noticing that ‘Lawson’ has no idea how to properly register, often uses false names and doesn’t handle money well (an interesting subplot that sadly gets hand waved a bit too easily), or people at the cape falling for the ruse, but admitting they detect something subtly “off” about ‘Lawson’, from the way he doesn’t understand various social norms or seems too forced in his slang, while others just write off his weirdness as harmless eccentricity, like a cab driver named Chester whom he befriends. There are also some nice moments of humor, such as Mar-Vell coming to appreciate mankind’s greatest achievement: The Coffee Break.
 

 The characterization of the supporting players is also quite good, and the situations created for them are handled uniquely. Carol Danvers, later to become a super heroine called Ms. Marvel (among several identities) is introduced here, and she’s as different from your typical female supporting character of the time as it’s possible to get. She’s a full-time working woman employed as the cape’s head of security, and although she needs to be rescued now and then, so does pretty much everyone else. Mar-Vell is the only one who knows how to stop the various alien threats that pop up, so having any human character defeat them on their own would come off as a stretch. And best of all, there is no romantic subplot….at first, but again, how it’s handled is quite unique. She doesn’t come to fall for ‘Lawson’, as she suspects him immediately and thinks he’s a spy (which he is, just not for the Russians), and there’s no attempt to portray her as secretly having feelings for him. In fact, next to Yon-Rogg, she becomes the biggest thorn in his side, with each time she appears building up tension. Using a female character in such an antagonistic light without making her a villain or a Lois Lane-type isn’t something you saw much in this era.
 However, Carol does end up falling for Captain Marvel. Again, this is handled in a far from typical manner. She’s just as suspicious of him initially as she is of ‘Lawson’, but because he saves her life several times, demonstrates his noble qualities and displays the grudging respect he has for her that he couldn’t show as Lawson, she gradually ends up falling for him over the course of many issues, without it ever coming off as forced.
 
 But here’s the thing; Mar-Vell does not at any time reciprocate her feelings or show any sign of falling for her (As Walter Lawson, he does occasionally make flirtatious remarks, but he’s clearly trying to keep her away from him by making her think he’s a sexist pig). He remains loyal to Una, and his attempts to protect Carol in particular are simply a combination of respect and because he’s afraid she might stumble onto something if he’s not around. However, Una sees them together and starts to worry that she might seduce him. Una could easily have been portrayed as jealous or unreasonable, possibly even ending up trying to kill Carol or betray Mar-Vell (remember all those times Lady Dorma would betray Namor or try to kill Sue Storm?), but instead, she’s portrayed with nothing other than sympathy. Her fears of losing Mar-Vell seem completely reasonable based on what she has to go on, and when she sees Cap kissing Carol (she forced herself on him and he immediately tries to pull away), it’s a legitimately heartbreaking moment.
 Una is also far from the typical weepy love interest (aside from a few lines about her feeling a ‘woman’s weakness”). She’s portrayed as a brilliant scientist and Mar-Vell’s go-to-gal for technology, and uses her expertise to get him out of several jams. She also gets one awesome moment where she knocks Yon-Rogg and his entire crew out with gas to buy Mar-Vell more time. It’s also made clear that she’s fully aware of Yon-Rogg’s lecherous designs on her, and even at her most paranoid about losing Mar-Vell, she’s smart enough to never trust Yon-Rogg or confide in him. In other Marvel series, she would probably end up falling for him in a fit of grief, or at least pretending to in order to make Cap jealous. Not here. There’s a lame subplot about how she and Mar-Vell are the only members of the Kree race that can feel emotion, but thankfully that isn’t dwelled upon much.
Yon-Rogg himself is easily the most despicable villain in late 60’s Marvel. He has no depth other than being a jealous, glory-hungry bastard, but you end up truly hating him on a level you don’t for say, Doctor Doom, because his evil is a real world, every day evil, and all of the drama in the stories come about from the emotional tension he creates, not because of his powers or latest super weapon. The way he mockingly tries to convince Una that Mar-Vell is cheating on her, or orders Cap to wipe out a city with a virus to prove his loyalty, or tries to get Cap in trouble with the Kree council really, really makes you despise him. A common reaction I’ve seen from people reading Silver Age Marvel is that the fights with supervillains often seem like distractions from the real drama that takes place out of costume, and that you often want to see supporting characters or ‘employers” like J. Jonah Jameson, Senator Byrd or General Ross pummeled more than the actual villains. Since Yon-Rogg is both villain and supporting character/employer, he comes off as far more compelling.
 Roy Thomas writes the first four issues and the second appearance, and he does a fine job. His purple prose is perfect for the space opera/soap opera going on, and he gets in several great lines which really capture Mar-Vell’s loneliness and inner conflict. He does however, have a tendency to reuse familiar characters as antagonists too much (something he admits to in the introduction). First we have the Sentry, The Super Skrull and Namor (all Fantastic Four-related characters). Things pick up when legendary DC oddball, Arnold Drake, takes the reins. He comes up with some interesting foes like a Soviet monster called the Metazoid, a living solar flare called Solam, alien pirates and a robot created by the real Walter Lawson (who it appears was far from saintly, or sane). Drake does reuse familiar Marvel villain Quasimodo the living computer, but gives him the bizarre gimmick of seeing himself as the ‘liberator’ of machines. Seeing him talk about the oppression of his “brethren” (drills, heaters and power tools) is just the kind of looniness you’d expect from Drake’s Metal Men and Doom Patrol, and makes him a lot more interesting than the rather vaguely defined villain from the Fantastic Four annuals.
  The Metazoid story is the one that most impresses. The Metazoid is portrayed as a tragic figure, an ordinary man arrested by the KGB and put on trial for speaking out against the USSR, then mutated into a monster and sent to abduct Lawson to prove his loyalty; if he fails, he will never be made human again. The Metazoid’s plight provides a fascinating counterpoint to Mar-Vell’s conflict with Yon-Rogg and his turmoil over whether to prove his loyalty to the Kree or to do the right thing. The fact that neither Cap or the Metazoid ever realizes the similar situation they are both in is a nicely mature little touch. It doesn’t end happily, and succeeds in creating a genuine feeling of ambivalence in the reader. It’s so good, you can easily forgive the Metazoid’s vaguely defined powers and appearance (is he made of rock, fur or tar?).
 The artwork is excellent throughout. Who knew Gene Colan “comic's prince of darkness” (as Wizbang called him) could be so good at space opera? Much maligned inkers Paul Reinman and Vince Colletta also do a fine job. This Masterworks edition features photocopies of Colan’s pencils before they were inked, and although they do look more impressive prior to inking, that was pretty much the case with every Colan inker. Reinman’s scratchy style gives things a rough-hewn, gritty mood, and although I’ve heard that Colan hated Colletta so much he sometimes went back and re-inked his own work, all I can say is that either he found time to do it for every issue here, or Colletta’s reputation for erasing is exaggerated. This stuff is fantastic.
 Don Heck takes over with the fifth issue (also the same issue where Drake arrives) and seems much more comfortable on this strip than with The Avengers, which is where most of Heck’s poor reception comes from. Heck was a fine artist, just admittedly not a superhero artist, more suited to science fiction and romance (You could always tell he enjoyed drawing Tony Stark more than Iron Man), so he’s at home here. Like I said before, some of his character designs are kind of odd, but then again, what is a ‘Metazoid” supposed to look like anyway? This is some of his best work.

 I really, really enjoyed this volume. Some people really hate this series, calling it a cynical copyright grab, or “a foray into sustained tedium”, often by pointing out the radical changes the premise would undergo (Mar-Vell eventually ended up becoming a space wanderer, an approximation of the old Billy Batson/Shazam concept, then a cosmic philosopher) as proof that he was a “nothing” character without a unifying concept. It may indeed be true that those abrupt changes destroyed the series (I haven’t read many of them and can’t comment), but I have to say, there’s nothing wrong with the original premise presented in these stories at all. It’s one of the most compelling (and grim) ideas for a ‘space hero’ series I’ve seen, and as long as it lasts, I think I’ll enjoy reading more of these collections before getting to the Starlin stuff. There’s nothing to be ashamed of here at all. 4/5.

 

Tuesday, April 1, 2014

The Great Sharkspiracy of comics!

 You know what I’ve realized about this site? I dwell on negativity too much, and on things nobody else cares about. So I’ve decided, what with it being Spring and all, to show off a kinder, gentler side of this site, and to talk about a subject everyone can get into: God’s fuzzy little creatures.
 
  But then I decided maybe I'd focus on his scaly little creatures.
 
 Or maybe his winged little creatures.
 
  I eventually settled on not-so-little, not-so-fuzzy, and probably-not-made-by any-benevolent-God-creatures; Sharks.
 
 There have been all kinds of oddly recurring character types in comics that you wouldn’t think are widespread, but are. Muck monsters, big-headed villains, armor-clad tyrants, vigilantes in fedoras and blue suits, dead sidekicks and….sharks.
  However, what began as a simple exercise in my OCD has led me to a rather chilling discovery. What is it? Read on gentle readers, read on.
 
 8) The Shark (Centaur)
 First appearance: Amazing Man Comics #6 (Oct. 1939)
 This character here was the first shark-based character in comics, and would you believe it? He debuted the same month and year as comics' most famous aquatic hero, Namor! Now, while it’s true that Namor had appeared earlier in a promotional comic that was never released, they still both have the distinction of being the first aquatic heroes in comics. Actually, considering that Namor wasn’t really a hero in his early stories so much as a villain protagonist, you could still argue that the Shark was the first aquatic hero in comics! Also, while Namor had yet to be retconned as coming from Atlantis, the Shark’s Greco-Roman connections where explicit from the start: He was Neptune’s son.
 It’s also worth noting that he had futuristic technology like a TV screen that could see anywhere, as well as scales on his trucks very similar to Namor’s, but predating them.
 Created by Lew Glanz, The Shark also shared Amazing Man Comics with Bill Everett’s character Amazing Man (obviously) and an adventure strip called Chuck Hardy and the Land beneath the Sea. So in other words, he was quite at home. Lew Glanz may not have been an overlooked genius, but he did have a knack for utilizing big panels at a time when doing so was unusual.
 That said, aside from those distinctions, the Shark was a fairly bland hero without the personality quirks that made Namor so interesting. Still, he gets props for being the first, and since some of the Centaur publications characters have appeared in Marvel continuity or at its old Malibu imprint, there’s no reason Marvel can’t bring him back.
 
 Speaking of Sub-Mariner…
 
 7) The Shark (Timely/Marvel)
  First Appearance: Sub-Mariner Comics #23 (Summer 1947)

 While I’ve sung praises of Bill Everett’s return to his greatest creation in the 1950’s, his initial return to the character in the late 40’s was pretty hit or miss based on what little I’ve seen. One example of this was Sub-Mariner #23, where on the cover by Syd Shores we were promised a hideous, green-skinned, amphibious shark-man:
 And on the inside (drawn by Everett), we got an ordinary smuggler with a big nose and sharp teeth:
 Kind of disappointing, huh? And to make matters worse, he wasn’t even the first animal-themed big-nosed smuggler with bad teeth Sub-Mariner had fought. There was The Fox all the way back in 1942’s Marvel Mystery Comics #27:
 But despite his blandness, Roy Thomas remembered the villain, and brought him back for Invaders Annual 1 in 1977, a brilliant parody (at least, I hope that’s what Thomas was going for) of Golden Age team-up book formats, with each character branching off into their own separate chapter drawn by different artists. The story involved The Invaders investigating three villains who had joined with the Axis; Agent Axis (a Boy Commandos villain Jack Kirby misremembered as being a Captain America villain), The Hyena (a Human Torch villain) and of course, The Shark (whose original story was retconned to have taken place in 1941).
 Art-wise, it wasn’t too successful at creating a Golden Age feel (except for Alex Schomburg’s Human Torch chapter), but when it came to replicating the gimcrack logic of Golden Age comics, Thomas hit the nail on the head.
 The Shark’s big evil plan in the Sub-Mariner story was…to steal Namor’s speedo, and he did:
 No, I’m not making this up or cutting out some crucial context, read the whole thing:
 Needless to say, his scheme was foiled. Namor would later gain for a far more enduring foe patterned after a shark, but for being one of the few villains who it can be confirmed, in canon, came up with a scheme which involved undressing the hero, The Shark deserves a special place in the supervillain hall of fame.
 
  6) Killer Shark (Quality/DC)
 First Appearance: Blackhawk #50
 
  Boy does this character have a convoluted history. He was a post-War villain (mostly just a pirate and bank robber) from the Blackhawk’s original Quality run who appeared only three times (each with huge gaps between each other) before DC built him up as a major recurring villain once they acquired the rights, then years later he was retconned as a Nazi whom Blackhawk had faced during the war, and then retconned as a separate character from, and then a successor, of the same Nazi villain. It’s funny how in all of their marketing, DC tries to build up Blackhawk as some sort of brooding war comic, when, even back in the Quality days, outlandish adventures with villains like Killer Shark seemed to be the rule rather than the exception.
 Still, as far as villains go, he’s not so bad. In fact, most Blackhawk fans consider him the closest thing the Hawks have to an archenemy. In his early stories he was just a crook, like I said, but he did have an amusing habit of using the same old scheme over and over again in all of his stories: Trying to kill Blackhawk himself with a tank containing a sea creature in it.
Batman wasn't the only hero to carry shark-repellent, who knew?
 
 To be fair, he was a pretty cold-blooded creep (from his debut in Blackhawk #50):
 His coolest moment came in Blackhawk #81 where he sent out a fleet of giant mechanical sea monsters to ravage ships:
 Most of his Silver Age DC appearances had him turning Lady Blackhawk into his henchwoman “Queen Killer Shark” through mind control, which, believe it or not, has endured as an aspect of her character to this day:
 He may not have the best costume, but you gotta respect a character that has lasted so long that most people would consider a poor fit for the series which features him.
 
  5) The Shark (again!) (DC)
 First Appearance: Green Lantern vol.2 #24
 
  Probably the most well-known character on this list, this creature is one of my favorite ridiculous villains, and also a good example of what happens when you try too hard to modernize a character. He was a tiger shark who was exposed to nuclear waste, which somehow evolved him into a humanoid shark (with the ability to change into a human form).
 Now as far as villains go, there’s really nothing better or worse about that origin or concept than any other, but what really made it funny was that he also developed (not kidding) telepathic powers! It resulted in entire stories that could have easily involved Hector Hammond or Sinestro and which made so little use of The Shark being, well, a shark, that it seemed pointless.
 That is, except when he would fly around the city by telepathically summoning waves of water that would float in air and carry him around the city in:
 
 That….that is just the type of totally batshit concept that is the reason people read comics. Actually, scratch that, loads of non-comics readers like that type of nonsense too. Remember the ruckus everyone threw over that Sharknado movie? DC could have reprinted his two silver age stories in a one-shot to cash in on it.
 
 After that, he made most of his appearances in Aquaman’s titles (a far more logical choice) and perhaps most memorably, Action Comics #456 with a cover resembling a rather familiar movie poster, even though the story inside was a fairly typical one, mainly distinguished by featuring short-lived Superman supporting character Captain Strong; a Popeye parody.
 
 Easy to mock as The Shark is, he was kinda endearing. That is, until Geoff Johns made him a Jaws wannabe who goes around eating people and biting off their limbs with blood spraying everywhere:
 You know, while it may be a logical way of utilizing the character, especially since he’s driven by his predator instincts…doesn’t that just seem like overkill for such a silly villain? He’s just another vicious monster now, and weirdly enough, nowhere near as memorable. Hell, some artists don’t even seem to know what species of shark he’s supposed to be. I guess some villains really are better off being corny and ridiculous.
 4) Kai-Mak (Timely/Marvel)
  First Appearance: Marvel Mystery Comics #23
 
 Unlike Killer Shark or Green Lantern’s Shark, Kai-Mak here only ever made one appearance, all the way back in 1941. Yet, what he lacks in appearances, he more than makes up for in sheer awesomeness.
  Kai-Mak is a big, evil shark with a Hitler hair style who is worshipped by the Zambiji people, all of whom offer him sacrifices during the full moon. He also can come on land, talk and is easily enraged if anyone ever calls him ugly or a coward.
 He fought Aarkus, the Golden Age Vision, to a standstill before having his mouth ripped apart by the hero. This is notable for being one of the first all-out brawls Simon & Kirby ever depicted between a superhero and villain.
 
  Despite his apparent death, Kai-Mak is just begging for a comeback. Couldn’t you see him battling the Agents of Atlas? Or being featured on the cover of Tales to Astonish or something (“I Fought Kai-Mak—the Shark God from the Sea!”)? If a talking tree can become a featured character in a major motion picture, anything is possible.
 
 3) Hook Jaw (Albion)
 First appearance: Action #1 (No, not that Action #1)
 Now here’s a really unusual choice. First, this shark is from a British comic. Second, he’s the protagonist of his series! Now, usually you’d think a comic starring an animal would be a humor comic.
 
  Well, does this look like a humor comic to you?
 Hook Jaw was a series about a shark that hates humans because he got a harpoon stuck in the middle of his lower jaw. It started out as sort of a Jaws-rip off centered around a crooked oil rig company and a hero named Rick Mason, but apparently in its final installments evolved into a bizarre sort of serialized anthology horror comic in the Man Thing vein, with various criminals who would end up eaten by Hook Jaw. I get the impression that fans preferred the earlier stories, but I gotta say, the idea of doing a series about a shark that just happens to keep eating criminals week after week, with a harpoon stuck in his jaw, is one of the greatest concepts I’ve ever heard.
 Hook Jaw’s stories were incredible gory and violent, and topped the polls as the reader’s favorite feature. In fact, they even caused a major controversy in the UK, getting singled out by politicians and even successfully banned in many areas. If what I read is true, that’s even more extreme than anything Wertham did!
 Hook Jaw is such an awesomely fucked up premise. Read it all here, even though it’s mostly the adventure/Mason stuff.
 
 
  2) Tiger Shark (Marvel)
 First Appearance: Sub-Mariner #5
 
  While the Shark may have been Namor’s first recurring (if only by retcon) foe themed after a shark, his most enduring shark-themed adversary had been this guy, and he’s one of my favorite B-list supervillains despite a debut that borders on the laughable.

 The saga of Tiger Shark began with a dazed and injured Namor staggering around an island after battling Captain Marvel, only to be attacked by a giant killer robot.
 The robot belonged to Dr. Dorcas; an evil marine biologist (don’t all marine biologists have killer robot guards?) who planned to siphon Namor’s powers as well as the powers of some tiger sharks into Todd Arliss, a former Olympic swimmer who injured his back while saving an old man who fell overboard. Arliss assumed Dorcas could repair his back (Why he thought a marine biologist would be the person to cure him in anybody’s guess).
Todd immediately went mad with power (I love how Dorcas apparently just had a mask lying around in case something like this happened) and his first battle with Namor started because…he said he was stronger than Namor. Man, and people say the Hulk takes his status as the ‘most powerful one there is’ too seriously.
 In the very next issue, Tiger Shark tried to become Atlantis’s new warlord, but ended up getting his ass kicked by Namor. The fight scenes are pretty good, but none can really match the fury of John Buscema’s cover:
Tiger Shark would spend the next few issues making cameos in an Atlantean insane asylum, before escaping. His sister Diane would become a longtime supporting character, and Dorcas would be a mainstay of Namor’s rogues gallery; even teaming up with his creation and Attuma to form the “Slayers of the Sea” in Super Villain Team-Up #1:
 Even though the implications of Tiger Sharks’ early appearances were that he was insane and might someday be redeemed, he was mostly used as a straight up villain thereafter. He even polished off Namor’s human father at the behest of a villainess called Lyra:
 Despite some silliness and letting the character’s sympathetic qualities decay, Tiger Shark has a lot going for him as a villain. His gill slits and sharp teeth make him a lot more menacing than your average Silver Age villain, his costume is simple but striking, and the fact that he’s a spiteful ex-Jock make him a good fit for Namor, a character known for his arrogance.
  Like Green Lantern’s Shark, Tiger Shark also got a gritty reboot. His came during Jae Lee’s 90’s run, which I have to confess, is my favorite post 70’s take on Namor because of its sinister, over-inked, Lovecraftian vision of Atlantis. Tiger Shark’s gritty reboot was pretty cool though, as gritty reboots go; he became a genuinely creepy looking hybrid creature who called himself “Arlys Tigershark” and for a time, was portrayed as something of an anti-hero and used as dark comic relief:
 
 I liked how his thuggish personality contrasted with the more regal characterization of the other Atlanteans. As far as gritty reboots go, I wish more were like this.
 
 1) The random anthropomorphic shark Jay Garrick was a jerk towards. (DC)
 First Appearance: All-Star Comics #3.
 In the JSA’s very first appearance (which was just them recounting stories), The Flash told the story of how he went looking for some undersea treasure (Hawkman wasn’t the only JSA hero who had weird underwater adventures), and this happened:
 ????
 
  Is it a joke? Are we meant to assume it was just some random shark and Jay was doing the voice in his retelling to be funny? Or are we meant to accept that the shark really could talk?
 
 Logically, it should just be chalked up as a weirdly out of place gag panel. That's what I thought at first.
  But maybe—just maybe, something far more sinister is afloat, I mean afoot.
 Note how this shark was separated from his mother, and seems unusually smart for one of his species. What if he was traumatized by losing his mother, developed an intense hatred of superheroes because of it, and then years later, grew up to be the same shark that got exposed to nuclear waste and became Green Lantern’s villain?
 
  Or who knows, maybe he was one of the very tiger sharks Dr. Dorcas used in his experiments? Todd Arliss wasn’t driven insane. He was possessed!
 
 The big problem is how he got from Earth II to Earth I and then the Marvel Universe. I don’t know how he did it, but he did. Perhaps he is one of the children of Kai-Mak, and losing both his mother and his father has caused him to plan revenge on every superhero in the multiverse! Perhaps Hook Jaw takes orders from him. All these shark-themed supervillains? All are somehow possessed by his will. The few shark-themed heroes like Lew Glanz’s Shark? They’re in on it!
 
  Even the ‘cute’ sharks may be part of this vast conspiracy! Sherman of the Sherman’s Lagoon newspaper strip? Sleeper agent!
 
 Jabberjaw? Well, has anyone ever seen those kids he hung out with? They didn’t just fade into obscurity and end up addicts like the kids from Speed Buggy.
 Beware of his wrath. For soon he might decide to leave the fictional universes, and come to ours! Even your fishbowl may not be safe!
 

 And have you noticed how crappy Shark Week has gotten over the years? And all the attention that gets paid to movies like Sharknado and Mega Shark VS Giant Octopus? It’s his influence I tell you! His!
  He may look like some silly cartoon shark that appeared in another wise serious superhero story, but behind that poorly-drawn exterior lies one of the most cunningly evil brains in the universe, affecting both Marvel and DC. And can it be a coincidence that his first appearance was also the first appearance of the Justice Society? I think not.
 
  Pay heed! Pay heed! The day of the Multi-versal shark attack doth draw near!
 
  Whose side are you on?