Scarecrow Tales review

 

 As a huge fan of Russell Thorndyke's Doctor Syn novels and Nathaniel Hawthorne’s story Feather Top, I've always had a fondness for scarecrows and thus this second-tier Batman rogue. A living scarecrow is too good a visual to pass up in a visual medium like comics, and this book is thus a joy to behold in how various artists depict the villain.

 Unfortunately, comics writers haven't been as enthused about the character, and tend to stretch him too thin, mainly using him to pad out group portraits of Batman's rogues gallery, or as a convenient explanation for stories revolving around hallucinations (hallucination-inspiring "fear gas" being his stock-in-trade, though this was not always the case). Too bad, these rather haphazardly chosen stories show a villain with much potential.

 The volume kicks off with the villain's first appearance in World's Finest Comics #3, which was apparently intended as a kind of Halloween special because this was the Fall issue (being a quarterly series), this story gets off to a good start with an atmospheric splash page. Unfortunately, that's about as good as this story gets. 

 Spindly young Jonathan Crane grows up loving to frighten birds (get it, he scares crows! Ha Ha...uh...Ha), which we all know thanks to Court TV is a sure-fire sign that a person will grow up to be a sadistic psychopath. Probably wet the bed too. As an adult, Crane naturally decides to channel his psychotic tendencies into becoming a college professor; beginning what is apparently the first day of class ("Gentlemen, this term we study the psychology of fear") by firing a gun:

 Well, you can't accuse him of being a boring instructor. Seriously, Crane would be quite amusing to watch, as we see him frequently stop mid-lecture to pontificate about how profound his own words are (When describing how protection rackets work: "He makes them afraid--afraid--he makes money--lots of money--"), all while penting his fingers and smiling evilly. Stung by his colleague's rather juvenile remarks about his clothes, Crane decides to turn to crime by working as a kind of extortionist-for-hire. Naturally, he dons a scarecrow outfit because it will make him “a symbol of poverty and fear”. He also intends to spend the money on expensive books. Well hey, I can’t blame the guy. It’s easier than ordering from Amazon.

  That really is about it, with the story descending into typical fisticuffs and wisecracks action as Batman & Robin confront him. Nope, he doesn't use fear gas, he doesn't play off of phobias, he's far more practical; he just pulls a gun on people. Simple, but effective. This would carry over to his next appearance as well. Interestingly, Crane is depicted as being able to hold his own rather well against Batman, and is repeatedly shown to be quite athletic.

 What trips him up in the end is (get ready for it)…..being jabbed in the ass with a teeter-totter:

 No, it's not a good story, and bad lettering doesn't help, but it's not truly a bad story either. The idea of an intellectual deciding to work as a common thug because it's more fun is compelling. It's the kind of thing best experienced at 3: AM in a drunken stupor while reading the dialogue out loud and doing the voices yourself.

 Next up is Fright of the Scarecrow from Batman #189, which is significant for reintroducing the Scarecrow after being absent since the 40's, with his origin conveniently recapped with most of the same dialogue.

 This one is interesting in that it's the first time the villain would be depicted as a mad scientist, and this portrayal also marks the introduction of his fear-inducing equipment (here a beam), otherwise it's even sillier than the original, with the Scarecrow keeping a submarine hidden in a park pond.

 A tad better is the 70's story The Scarecrow's Trail of Fear, atmospherically illustrated by Ernie Chua, and based around the motif of Gotham's winter bleakness. Unfortunately, it's an extremely generic hero vs. villain story, and could easily have been excised from the volume. It's a masterpiece compared to the following story, though; the abysmally bad The Scarecrow's Fearsome Face-Off from issue 8 of the Joker's own short-lived series from the 70s. Here the two villains, well, face off (with the Scarecrow now using his familiar fear gas), and uh...there really is no plot besides that. While it is refreshing to read a story with no heroes, this one just doesn't work even as the frivolous adventure it's intended to be, particularly because of the childish insult humor that makes up most of the dialogue.

  Oddly enough, Crane is depicted as being fond of birds in this story, and is enraged when one gets covered with exploded cake by the Joker(!!!?). This characterization would carry over into the villain's depiction on Superfriends. At least the art is nice, particularly the facial expressions.

 So far it sounds like I’ve been underwhelmed by this volume, but then surprisingly enough it picks up considerably with Gerry Conway's superb 1981 story Six Days of The Scarecrow from Detective Comics #503. While it's a bit disappointing in that the motif of the six days isn't really used much, it's more than made up for by a superb plot where the Scarecrow actually lives up to his reputation as a master of fear by, well, demonstrating how he has mastered the application of fear, this time, by making it so that rather than being struck with fear, his victim becomes an object of fear to those around him. After being exposed, Batman finds himself alienated from everyone. 

It sounds silly, but there's real tension and pathos in how this is portrayed, with plenty of character bits mixed with some decent action, as well as the always welcome opportunity to see Batman use his brains to handle the situation. So many writers forget that Batman is a scientist and a detective rather than just a vigilante who kicks people's asses. While I've gone down as disliking the idea of sidekicks, both Batgirl & Robin figure prominently in this story, and serve as textbook examples of just what an effective plot device the concept of the sidekick can be when written well.

 It's depressing as well to contemplate that whereas the modern Batman is often portrayed as an obsessive, anti-social psycho who alienates or is mostly aloof towards everyone around him, here the entire point of the story is just how lost he is without human contact, and how lonely he feels when he is perceived solely as a figure of fear. Even his reactions from the public are explored.

  Seeing a Batman this human, this vulnerable...it's not just refreshing, it's genuinely moving.

 As for Crane himself, artist Don Newton manages to make the villain a truly frightening figure, with much of his face and expressions obscured, this is given more impact than usual, because he barely appears in the story. The ending is nicely ironic, and even manages to make you feel a twang of sympathy for Crane.

 

 Put bluntly, I love this comic. And it gets better, next up is Fear for Sale from Detective Comics #571 by Mike Barr & Alan Davis. The third issue of their criminally neglected run, it's one of my favorite Batman stories. Again, given my dislike for sidekicks and my preference for macabre themes, I really shouldn't like this story, or in fact any of Barr & Davis's run, which was an intentional throwback to the Silver Age. Wisecracks, innuendo and wackiness abounded, yet theirs may in fact be my single favorite Batman run. The comics aren't dumbed down, or done solely as an exercise in nostalgia, they're just pure fun.

 This story is a prime example of how to do straight-out thrill-ride superhero adventures. Here, Batman discovers that the Scarecrow's newest scheme doesn't involve spreading fear, but killing it. Sounds harmless? Well, yes, until you realize how without fear, people can become reckless and stupid. Thus, the villain "sells" fear back to those he has deprived it from. Brilliant idea. Meanwhile, Robin must prevent a newly reckless Batman from blundering into Scarecrow's death traps after Batman ends up deprived of his sense of fear. 

Happy Batman is 100x scarier than brooding Batman

 

 It’s a simple premise, but is wonderfully executed. Barr's writing is crisp and witty, and Davis's art is extremely cartoony but wonderfully detailed and expressive just the same. There's some genuine suspense, a surprisingly touching (and prescient) ending, as well as some wonderful moments of black humor. While this really is a Robin story, Batman nevertheless still gets to do some ass-kicking without stealing Robin's spotlight, while Robin doesn't overshadow Batman. There's a real sense of camaraderie between the two, and though many fans disliked the Jason Todd-Robin, I found him quite likeable here. Hell, everyone is likeable, even the Scarecrow himself, who is so obviously having the time of his life while pulling off this scheme that his joy is infectious. Best of all, this story could easily be linked to modern continuity, as the fact that Scarecrow's primary targets in this story are athletes ties in with his later origin showing him to have been bullied by jocks in high school. With a prescient ending, brilliant concept for its villain's scheme and fast-paced, enjoyable storyline, this story is rightly touted as a classic, and elements of it were adapted twice for the Batman cartoon of the 90s. Sometimes, the famous stories really do deserve the hype.

'

When written well, Scarecrow can be as funny as the Joker

  In contrast to the previous two stories about the value of friendship, comes a disturbing yarn from Scarecrow’s own one-shot comic called Mistress of Fear.

No, that’s not what this story involves at all

 

 

 Here Crane seeks revenge on a homely young woman who thwarted him previously, but then becomes enamored with her after discovering she endured the same sort of bullying he did as a child, and then tries to tempt her into becoming his sidekick, hence the title. Portraying Crane in a comparatively sympathetic light, but still piling on some pretty disturbing moments, this one stands out as the darkest story in the collection. I quite like it, enough to consider it the best (or at least, most ambitious) story in this book even though it’s not my favorite, but that’s a pretty controversial decision considering the flack this story had garnered online; chiefly because it’s inspired a lot of poorly written fan fiction by female fans who would have been more than willing to have taken up Crane’s offer.

 

The collection finishes up with Fear of Success from Gotham Knights#23, which is one of those stories I mentioned earlier where the hallucinations caused by Crane are the main focus, this one is better than most by giving Crane a decent amount of panel-time and making Batman's hallucinations real emotional kickers. Damn good, but it pales compared to the last three stories.

 All in all, this collection is quite literally divided against itself; Four lousy stories versus four excellent ones. Rushed out simply to capitalize on the (fleeting) use of the villain in Batman Begins, quality clearly wasn’t going to be the main priority with this collection, but one still wonders why the editors made the choices that they did.

 Why not eliminate the lame 60's/O' Neil/Joker stories in favor of say, the 1995 Batman annual focusing on the character's origin? That was a superb retelling of World's Finest #3, giving Crane a much needed backstory that created some genuine pathos for him, included some amusing Legend of Sleepy Hollow references, while still managing to be very Batman-focused. At the very least, it provides better context for Mistress of Fear.

 Other fine choices for inclusion would have been Batman #523-4, where Crane finishes off more childhood enemies, or Batman Adventures Annual 1's Study Hall, where a reformed Crane resumes the mantle of the Scarecrow to avenge a female student's date rape, or Jeph Loeb & Tim Sale's shallow but atmospheric Legends of the Dark Knight Halloween special “Choices” (although that story gave the villain the annoying habit of spouting nursery rhymes and odd jokes).

 Still, considering the hard-to-find gems that it does reprint, I can't bitch too much about this volume. It's one of those rare collections which still manages to give you a decent taste of each era (regardless of quality), with even the bad stories not leaving an overly negative impression of the era they came from. So despite being intended as a Scarecrow collection, it's actually more of a Batman throughout-the-ages collection. 3/5.

Batman: Tales of the Demon review

*Major Spoilers*

  Oh boy, is this collection a primer on how overrated some creative teams and characters can get. This isn't a "best of" collection showcasing Ras Al Ghul, but his first appearances. Al Ghul was odd in that he was fairly subtly introduced through a name drop and then made cameos over various issues before taking center stage as a major villain. This gives the collection a disjointed feel at times (Batman says at one point that he’s tangled with Al Ghul many times even though all the previous times they’d met it was as uneasy friends), but it was unique for its day because it was an ongoing serial.
 

The first story, with Batman in Asia on the trail of a criminal named Dr. Darrk and his encounter with Al Ghul's daughter Fah-Lo-See Talia, has a great pulp atmosphere, so too does the first appearance of Al Ghul himself in the second, which is justly celebrated as a classic. Well-plotted, beautifully drawn, building up layer and layer of intrigue about Ras Al Ghul and his daughter, and best of all, giving Batman an actual chance to act as a detective, this one's a keeper. Only problem is, it's a bit too good, so good that its humorous ending seems abrupt and unsatisfying.

 Al Ghul and Talia continued to appear as wild card supporting characters that may or may not be evil. Ultimately, writer Denny O' Neil appeared to lose interest in developing the characters, and their characterization becomes spotty, with Batman unarguably considering the Al Ghul's allies at times, then treating them curtly at others and attacking members of their organization even though they fight for the same cause.

  As a result of this, when Batman finally becomes aware of their villainy, it comes across as extremely unconvincing since it’s treated as a big shock for Batman, even though it’s clear that he’s never been too comfortable with them in the first place. Batman seemingly has no trouble with the shady and sinister actions the two have taken, many for frivolous purposes, such as seeing whether Batman is a suitable boyfriend for Talia by kidnapping Robin and threatening to expose Batman's secret identity, and he surprisingly doesn't seem too dissatisfied with either of them killing people.

 So what finally alerts him to Ra's villainy? Ras harvests a murder victim’s brain so he can probe it for information. Okay, that is pretty disturbing, but it's only to obtain essential information for solving a case. Batman blows a gasket over this, and immediately decides that Ras is power-hungry and must be destroyed. Now, probing dead brains isn't exactly something you see good guys doing, but look at some of the things Batman himself has done to interrogate criminals! To be fair, the brain is depicted in agony, and Batman puts it out of its misery, but just because someone is inhumane doesn't automatically make them "a modern-day Hitler" (a term used repeatedly to describe Al Ghul). Possibly Batman concluded that Al Ghul had committed the murder to obtain the brain himself, but we never actually see him make that conclusion or learn if that's the case. Like I said, Batman’s seemingly been okay with these people committing cold-blooded murder and threatening his friends and identity, but keeping a guy’s disembodied brain alive is where he draws the line?

 Maybe he just had bad memories of this old adventure:

 

 Batman also misconstrues a line Ras delivers about making the world a better place to mean he intends to conquer it and forge it into a utopia, without any proof Ras means such a thing (Although to be fair, his assumptions were correct in this case). Yeah, we're expected to believe that Batman has never made a similar statement or heard it from one of his superhero buddies, but when the creepy foreign dude makes it, he's a megalomaniac that has to be put down at all costs (Batman actually fakes Bruce Wayne’s death). So basically Batman's entire reason for concluding Al Ghul is an evil monster who has supplanted the Joker and Adolf Hitler is based off of jumping to a conclusion. We later learn that Ras intends to make the earth beautiful once again by purging it of all humans save for a select few, so that it can resemble the barren deserts and snowy mountains he feels at home in. If that had been what Ras had said, it would have made more sense for Batman to conclude he’s a monster.

You're none of those things Ras, you're an errand boy...collecting slutty outfits for your daughter

 

 

So what does Batman do to take down these sinister, inhumane, untrustworthy former allies of his? He recruits….sinister, inhumane, untrustworthy people as allies......fuck it, makes sense to me!

 

 Batman's team is made up of a whiny, reluctant professor named Blaine who pretty much proves useless until the very end, a gangster named "Matches" Malone who shoots himself accidentally and whom Batman impersonates from thereon (Becoming a lasting aspect of the Batman mythos), a member of Ras Al Ghul's own cult named Lo Ling who Batman recruits with absolutely no reason to believe he's trustworthy and who spends the rest of the storyline attempting to either back out or kill him even after swearing loyalty to Batman for saving his life (The next issue begins with a five-page fight between Batman and Ling where Ling attempts to stab him), and a ski champion named Molly who wanders into all this and also just coincidentally happens to be hunting Al Ghul herself because her boyfriend became an alcoholic after an encounter with him (Seriously!!!). Perhaps I’m being too hard on her though, for a character that makes her debut late in the storyline, she actually comes off as pretty likeable. So does Matches Malone too, or at least, Batman’s impersonation of him. Good thing Bats didn’t try and pull a Weekend at Bernie’s stunt with the corpse, although that could have been amusing.

The very likeable and useful (Not) Dr. Blaine

 

 Still the question remains, why would Batman recruit these untrustworthy, squabbling fools? If Ras is such a potential threat, why not ask his Justice League buddies for help? Okay, that would seem too obvious or too anticlimactic. So why not recruit some obscure heroes like the Creeper? Or since O' Neil apparently wanted to make Batman's team interesting and edgy, why not recruit some of his more sympathetic villains? Nope.

  So anyway, Batman and his team arrive at Ras’s stronghold only to find out that….he’s dead. (Never is it explained how he supposedly died) only for him to be revived by his Lazarus Pit.

 By the way, on the subject of the Lazarus Pit, in its first appearance, it is depicted as a technological device inside a sterile, metal laboratory rather than a supernatural one in a cave, as has become the common depiction. It’s also shown in one of Ras’s earlier “good-guy” appearances that he has other methods of reviving himself, such as Frankenstein-like electrodes. He also specifically says that there’s a limit to how often he can use the pit, and that sooner or later, it won’t work on him. Now there’s a detail that modern writers have ignored.

  The storyline devolves from there into a pursuit story (Although for the record, it’s a pretty fun one), then into a slugfest, although Batman's sword-fight (and sucker punch) with Ras at the conclusion of the 'saga" is one of the best art jobs of Neal Adam's career, and probably the main reason this whole storyline became regarded as a classic. It aims for a sort of Bond-flavor, but comes off more like a Saturday Matinee serial.

Best two panels of Neal Adam's career, brought to you by me with the magic of MSpaint!

 The rest of the book's contents feature Ras’s other appearances, the best of which is a one-issue story illustrated by Michael Golden where Ras marries off Talia to Batman while he loots the city (and which may have inspired aspects of Batman Begins such as Ras unleashing gas on the populace). It works as a frivolous adventure, nothing more. It’s then followed by a three issue ‘epic’, which once again treats Ras and Talia as unstable allies of Batman, although they only make minor appearances and their involvement is treated as something of a surprise (Which makes the decision to include it in here sort of weird).

  All in all, while I appreciate the obvious pulpish influences that went into the concept of Ras, making him equal parts Fu Manchu, John Sunlight and the Hammer films version of Dracula, and while the character has been used to much greater effect by other writers, here in these original stories (up until that marriage story), we never get a sense or even confirmation of Ras being much of a grand-scale threat, and certainly not worthy of usurping the Joker as Batman's archfoe. Little use is made of the relationship between Batman and Talia to give these stories emotional conflict (Again, until the ‘marriage’ story, although there’s a nice ‘quite’ moment at the conclusion of the three-parter at the end), and Ras becomes the most menacing, oddly enough (Despite his reputation as a mastermind whose mind is his greatest weapon), when he’s duking it out with Batman after he goes temporarily insane following exposure to his Lazarus pit.
 At best this "saga" comes off as an occasionally entertaining story about Batman misjudging a man and turning out to be right by the dumbest of coincidences. At worst, it comes off as an attempt to create a great villain that tries waaaay too hard at times, and waaaay too little at others. And while it sounds like I'm being too harsh on Batman's characterization, really, if he was real it's his own damn fault for trusting a guy whose name translates as "The Demon's Head" then finally realizing the guy is bad news because he has a Donovan’s Brain tank. Still, get this collection for the artwork alone: Neal Adams, Bob Brown, Irv Novick, Michael Golden and Don Newton. How could you go wrong?

 By the way, there’s also an introduction by Sam Hamm, writer of the 1989 Batman movie, which, as far as I’m concerned, is the best ever dissection of the divide between people who prefer the Adam West show and those who prefer a darker Batman; a debate that long-time readers of mine know is dear to my heart:

SPOT. FUCKING. ON.

 

  Tales of The Demon is worth snatching up for some great art, a handful of stories which are enjoyable as one-offs, and some fairly amusing moments throughout. Still, I can’t say it really deserves more than a 2 ½ out of 5. It does read very quickly though.

How It Got Burned I: The Making of Catwoman (2004)

 So December is upon is, and Turkey month is at an end. How sad, for I only made four posts, one of them being scans of a good comic.

 Do not feel remorseful though, my friends, for that still does not mean we cannot delve into all things shitty in comic book land! It is with great pride that I introduce a new series for this blog, called How It Got Burned: When Comics go up in Flames, named after a line spoken by Man-God and fellow fan of comics, Saint Nicolas Coppola of the Cage. With this series we shall uncover the great mysteries of how and why various comic book movies sizzled and fizzled. Today, we will be looking at a transcript of the sordid meeting from which the 2004 eidolon of filmic fecal matter known as Catwoman sprang:

 Sometime in 2002: The WB board meeting room:

~

~

 Goddamn it, it’s been three months of marriage and my wife already wants to divorce me! I’m just not feeling it any more. We need a new chick flick.

 Sir! You will not use language like “chick” here, you misogynist basta---

 Oh fuck off, Chief.

 Hee. The reason you’re not feeling it any more is because you’re too fat.

 Sir! The politically correct term is “softer-bodied”--

 Ah lay offa' him, one minute you’re cussing me out then defendin' me. I’m fat and I know it. I don’t delude myself.

 Anyway, it’s not that. It’s my jokes that need to improve. I use’ta be great at makin’ her laugh. That’s why she married me, not because she’s financially unstable because a cosmetics company bought out her dad’s company and she needed to marry a rich Hollywood executive.

 Heh. You don’t like to delude yourself?

 Fuck you.

 Hey, easy now. You have a point, when was the last time we had a chick’s flick that was a bread-winner? My girlfriend loves to go to those, and always gets mad that none of them were produced by me.

 Your motives are so mercenary and juvenile. We do need to make more women-oriented films, or people will think we’re misogynistic….

 Eh, I could live with it.

…or they could think we’re gay.

 *GASP*

 As the chief of Hollywood’s political correctness police who believes in equality for everyone, I must say that there is nothing wrong with being gay. You two are acting very immature and---DAMN IT! I DON’T WANT PEOPLE TO THINK I’M GAY!!!!!

 (Not that there’s anything wrong with that).

 It’s settled then. In order to keep people from thinking that we’re gay or misogynistic, we must make a movie featuring a scantily clad actress who spends the whole movie contorted in suggestive poses,

with dozens of ass shots…

  *Knock* *Knock*

  Goddammit, it’s Mr. Common Sense again.

  I hate that guy, he's always pointing out the flaws in my arguments.

 Excuse me gentlemen, I couldn’t help overhearing your conversation, but you started this whole discussion saying you wanted to make a film that would appeal to a female audience and also be empowering.

 Do you really think women are going to want to go a film filled with the kind of things you just mentioned? It’s highly--

 Aww shaddap. Hurry, someone find me an unmade script from our inventory pile!

Hours later:

 The abandoned Catwoman spin-off project from the early 90s that was supposed to star either Michelle Pfeiffer or Ashley Judd? I dunno…

  I am outraged by this. This script is sexist. Catwoman is supposed to wear pants that have rips in them that clearly expose her ass to the audience.

 Yeah, I figgered that that might not fly with you. It does sound kinda sexist.

 Huh? Oh, that’s not what I was saying was sexist. I’m fine with that, leave it in. This movie is sexist because it references the Batman movies, thus implying that a film about a woman can’t exist independently of a film about a man.

 That is very faulty logic.

 Quiet you! As I was saying, suggesting that a woman can’t live independently about a man would be sexist (which I totally am not). So let’s get rid of the character’s backstory, setting, etc.

 Also, it needs to be more ethnically diverse, because not being ethnically diverse would be racist (which I totally am not). We must transcend racial boundaries.

  Mmmm. Let’s get Halle Berry. She can transcend my racial boundaries any day if you know what I mean…

 Hmmm, casting a black woman as a man-hungry character (usually portrayed as a villain) who wears revealing, slutty clothing, commits robberies, is supernaturally adept at basketball,

 , and is constantly compared to an animal rather than a human by eating cat food and playing with fuzzy balls?

 I say go with it. I’m the head of the PC police, and since I don’t personally see anything racist about it, it’s not racist, because being the head of the PC police, I could never be racist.

 Right?

 Oh, and best of all, if people complain about the film featuring a black actress, we can accuse them of racism! We can’t lose!

 Let’s also change the name too. “Selina Kyle” is too cartoony. We need a name people wouldn’t expect a comic book character to have like…Patience Phillips. There aren’t any comic book characters with alliterative names, right?

 Actually---

 Quiet you! I say we go with the Patience Phillips name. We can’t lose!

 We’ll also pay pathetically obvious sock-puppets to post positive reviews of the film on opening day on IMDb,

 We'll even have one guy review the same film twice, which is actually illegal on IMDb!

 We’ll also come up with silly, half-assed explanations for how the film fits into the DC Universe that aren’t suggested anywhere in the movie,

 and if a problem should arise, we’ll blame it on Marvel...somehow.

  Let’s hire a French director too, so that way, we can use our paid shills to make nonsensical accusations that the people who bash the film are anti-French Bush-supporting rednecks!

 Oh, and let’s make the villains a cosmetics firm. That’d make my wife very happy.

  Call up the boss.

~

 Hmmmm? A film based on a supporting character from a film franchise whose last entry was in 1997 and a total critical and financial failure? And that has nothing to do with the supporting character in question at all, and features an attempt at being politically correct that is actually horrifically racist when you think about it? And that features a bunch of stupid crap (like an evil cold cream company) that will totally alienate both established and potential fans? And that defends itself as a feminist film despite featuring scenes of the titular character, an Oscar Winner at that, wearing revealing leather, eating cat food and licking herself? This totally doesn’t sound like the project of a bunch of aging, sexually frustrated morons pulling a dud project out of development hell and trying to push an obvious TnA flick while also trying in vain to look politically correct.

 Gentlemen, I love it. Consider it greenlit.

 Months later…

  So how did the test audience react?

 Huh? Oh, I assume it went over well, judging from their facial expressions:

 Trust me. There’s no way this film will bomb.

July 23, 2004:

 You’re all fired LOL.